Saturday, October 8, 2016

I'll be your write-in candidate for POTUS!

I had an epiphany this morning! (Possibly fueled by too much coffee and miniature chocolate donuts)

Given the anarchy of this presidential election I've decided to toss my sneaker (since I don't wear hats) into the race as a write-in candidate. "Isn't it too late?" Nope. Forty-three states allow write-ins. With that said, I'm running as a Happy-Ever-After candidate. I'm highly qualified! (see below)

* I can balance a checkbook to the penny (could be an OCD thing).

* I can be bossy (ask my kids).

* Would the mainstream media find skeletons in my closet? (Duh. They'd also find frumpy, outdated clothes and possibly a dust bunny or two. I'd hand them a Swiffer. *Don't give me that look. I know how to delegate.)

* I'm not high maintenance. I'd be waiting on The White House staff instead of them waiting on me. "Can I freshen your coffee? Would you like more noodles?" I'm a mom, grandmother, mother-in-law; it comes with the territory. (Did I mention I love noodles?) 

* I'd help small businesses succeed by hosting book signings (yes, I had to slide that in there), Tupperware parties, Origami Owl, Norwex, Paparazzi jewelry, Thirty-One, etc, instead of State Dinners. (Or I could host one of those parties in conjunction with a State Dinner. Foreign diplomats would snap that stuff up. It's a win-win!)

* I'd help big businesses succeed too. I'd give tax incentives only if they allowed their employees to hold book signings, Tupperware, Origami Owl, etc. parties during their breaks. Big/Small helping each other. Fail proof plan.

* In my first hundred days, I'd boost pay for military members, first-responders, and teachers. There are a lot more folks who need a raise too. (Send me an email. I'll see what I can do)

* Great at multi-tasking. I can talk to leaders of other countries while I straighten things in the Oval Office, work on my next novel, and figure out what I'd like the White House chef to fix for dinner (noodles). 

* I stink at big city driving so Air Force One and Limo-One would come in handy. I'd tip the pilot/driver big. Wait. Presidents don't normally carry cash. (I'd break tradition and have money on hand - in the presidential purse I bought during one of those small business parties at a State Dinner. Are you starting to see a pattern?)

* Great at resolving conflict. (I'm not afraid to give anyone a time-out. Ask my kids/grandkids. *sheepish grin*)

* Not afraid to show my human side. Yep, I'm a crier. (Don't mistake my tears for weakness. I can be a bobcat when necessary. Again, ask my kids)

* With me, happy-ever-after is guaranteed.



♥ I'm Jan Romes and I approve this message ♥


4 comments:

  1. Your post brought an immediate smile to my face, thank you for posting this delightful piece Jan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was feeling ornery when I wrote it, Marcia :) Thanks for popping in to read my mischief! ♥

      Delete

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